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| But your honor, My publicist told me it was okay to drive..this is so NOT HOTT!!!. |
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So there I was, 18,000 feet over
Tokyo. I had a bogie on my nine and another on my two fifteen . I went into a split S dive and tried
to shake them. When that didn't work I pulled up on the stick and headed for the edge of the envelope. I got up around 38,000
and I went into a flat spin...just as I was about to fully recover, My wings fell off. So I punched out and went for
a swim. After the investigations were over I had the choice of flying cargo hops full of rubber dog crap out of Hong
Kong, or early retirement. I chose retirement and here I am...
This story may be a little embelished, but I'm sticking to it.
Welcome to my website. If you are here
than I can assume 1 of three things,
A) You saw my act and wanted to learn more about me.
B) You got lost looking for porn.
C) I owe you money and you are trying to see where I will be so you can come and collect.
Either way I'm happy to have you here (Unless you chose C, and if that is the case
I'm not here right now).
So a little about me, I just moved out to California,
I packed up my car and drove cross country. I forgot how beautiful America is once you leave N.J. Everywhere except
Oklahoma that is, I hate Oklahoma...Oklahoma is so bad that in Arkansas the license plates say "Hey, at least where not
Oklahoma!" You may wonder why I hate Oklahoma, well it's simply because that is the only place that I got pulled over on my
road trip, apparently you are supposed to just know that a road is a one way even though there are no signs within 100 feet
of the traffic intersection, The cop pulled me over and said "Boy didn't you see the arrows?", I looked around and said "Sir,I
didn't even see the indians!"
The Oklahoma police dept. doesn't even have a CSI unit
because there are no dental records in the state and all the DNA is the same. So anyway after the full cavity search
I was only issued a citation. I do have to say that the officer was quite gentle and almost loving as he violated me
searching for contraband, and he did offer to buy me dinner afterwards, but I declined and got the hell out of there as soon
as possible.
Anyway, welcome to my world, keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times.
Enjoy the ride.
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Make sure you check my schedule page to see if I am playing a club near you.
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